About Gary
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I believe we only get one life so I'm devoted to
helping people get the most out of it, personally, professionally and as part of the human
species!
I have a reason for this dedication and passion and it dates back almost 30 years.
On the morning of December
9th 1983 my life changed forever.
Whilst driving to a client's office I heard on the radio that a man had been murdered at a country
town in Western Victoria. That man was my younger brother Ray, who had stayed at my place only
two days before this terrible event.
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The Impossible Situation
When I saw Ray on the slab - stabbed in the heart - a dagger of another kind made a couple of
twists in my own heart – it was my own mortality.
It was a hard and shocking way to learn an important life lesson. Many people don’t get the chance
to learn this before it's too late, so I'm thankful that I was able to turn such a tragic event in
my life, and the life of our family, into something positive.
That was the "impossible situation" I had to deal with. The answer didn’t come easily either. I
felt I had been hit with a killer punch that I never saw coming. Nothing in my life had
prepared me for this. I was smashed to smithereens.
Where to turn to?
I found myself thinking "Ray had no idea his life was going to be so brief – surely he would have
done things a lot differently if he had. This does not make any sense. Life is not what you thought
it was. It is precarious and short. You too are mortal, and one day, maybe tomorrow, who knows, you
will die."
And then, tellingly "What are you doing with your life
because this isn't a dress rehearsal!"
Asking that question was the key to addressing my impossible situation and why I'm writing this for
you to read today.
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The Passion and the
Commitment
The alleged killer was caught and charged with Ray's murder but before his trial he committed
suicide. I found out later that he blamed Ray for the break-up of his marriage.
My reaction to these events was to become one of the most obsessively curious and
dissatisfied individuals on the planet - about the human condition, about how life is so
fragile and can end in a moment of madness and whether we can do anything about it.
I would give anything to have Ray back. I didn’t know it at the time, but the tragedy and the
experience of my brother's death was the best thing that ever happened in my life because it really did make me question everything and find my
own answers. It stopped me from just drifting along with the flow and gave me purpose and
direction. It also increased my awareness of the beauty and fleetingness and
bitter-sweetness of every moment!
Now I know that the more people I help with what I've learnt the more meaning it gives to Ray's
life and countless other live's that were cut horribly short.
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My Personal
Circumstances
Jo-anne has been my partner, confidant and best friend for twenty-two years and I
have two wonderful daughters and three 'fantastic-active' grandsons.
I live at Point Lonsdale in Victoria near the beach and love nature, bushwalking, funny movies,
silly jokes, absurd situations and "tilting at windmills".
I like challenging myself and anyone who will listen to me, to do a whole lot
better with our lives and our relationships.
In order to do this we have to stop blaming external situations and take a deep,
terrifying look inside ourselves. Maybe it's not so terrifying afer
all?
Thanks for getting this far.
Are you ready for the rest?
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