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Life?
June 20, 2010 by Gary Hipworth
Is having a secure, safe job and a comfortable life the the best way to live? I am confident that the last thing you will think about when you are about to die is not spending enough time at the office, or how much money you have in the bank or how much stuff you have accumulated.
You will more likely remember your great relationships, the creative and original work you produced, your adventures off the beaten track, the contributions you made to making the world a better place, amusing and funny times, and also when you were a right bastard!
Why have I wasted maybe 20 years of my life? My honest answer is that I am a perfectionist and I was looking for the 'right' life purpose and when things didn't work out I would get frustrated and switch direction too soon.
I was also caught in a career that paid good money and I allowed the money to dictate what I did rather than take more risks, listen and act on my inner voice and have the money follow on when it was good and ready!
My father also had a massive influence on me, he was a maniac. I tried to become everything he wasn't (good, non-violent, non-drinker, successful and so on) and I only succeeded in shutting down one half of myself i.e. the bad half that ironically gives me my 'grunt' and my passion for making a difference in the world.
Vital Insights: Own all of yourself, the good the bad and the ugly. It's all energy and the secret is to transform the nasty stuff into creative pursuits.
But the deeper reason for my procrastination is summed up in the four word philosophy - 'THINGS FADE, ALTERNATIVES EXCLUDE'*.
*I came across this gem from one of Irvin Yalom's books. He in turn was quoting this phrase from John Gardner's novel "Grendel".
Two simple but devastating ideas:
1. THINGS FADE.
Nothing is permanent. Time is always slipping away and this is your life! You are terminally ill and so am I and
every other living creature. But here's the funny thing - it's always the other guy that is going to die one day,
never me. Somehow, and I don't give much thought to this...I will find a way around this death business if it ever
comes close to being realized. So just like the turkey we think there will always be a tomorrow, until Xmas day
rolls around.
Vital Insights: If you died tomorrow what if anything would you seriously regret not doing? Act now on these things! Look after your body as if you will live forever. Also be grateful for what you have in your life right now. You will never procrastinate ever again. I also love the quote by Albert Camus: "There is only one serious philosophical problem and that is suicide." In other words, there is only this one life, so live it to the max but don't be full of self-pity and make others miserable. It is what it is!!
2. ALTERNATIVES EXCLUDE.
This is the main reason why decisions are so difficult. That is, for every yes, there must be a no, or more than
one no. Many times in my life I have sat 'on the decision fence' not wanting to give up some possibilities and
ended up doing nothing! Even worse were the times when I kind of decided to go in a particular direction, but left
my options open, just in case it did not work out. You probably know what
happened. Being only half-hearted I made a mess of these decisions and a number of
people were hurt in the process.
Vital Insights: Take the path with a heart over the logical, safe one every time, and give it your best shot. Don't sit on the fence. Burn your bridges. Make it work. Do everything with passion or don't bother. Keep going when everyone around you is telling you it's not possible, it's foolish, it will send you broke, as long as it comes from within you and it feels right and it gives you energy and you can see you are making a positive difference in the world - even if it is only for one chicken, or one person, or one tree.
