Questions And Answers For Social Power 
January 21st, 2010 by Gary Hipworth
 
“I seize life by engaging in it and opening myself up to a few close relationships.” 

Question : Do I experience deep & mutually respectfully relationships in which I feel closeness and give and spend my time with family, friends, partner and perhaps also animal companions and plants?
Answers :Yes,and I experience depth in my life and value life, but also experience loss and grief. No,and I don’t value life and sometimes experience apathy, depression and loneliness.

Question : Do I experience ‘need-free’ loving relationships? Refer to the definition of ‘need-free’ relationship below*.
Answers :Yes,and these special people give me a wonderful feeling of being intimately connected and touched and influenced by life and high self-esteem.   No, my close relationships are based on what we can get from each and we don’t discuss intimate details of our lives. If there is no ‘return on investment’ then I move on.

What Is a Need-Free Loving Relationship?*   

Ø     When I relate to the other person selflessly, without any thought of what’s in it for  me, whether sex, power, money or whatever 

Ø       I care about the being and growth of the other person 

Ø       The act of giving is an expression of maturity and strength 

Ø       My basic communication is dialogue, which is turning towards the other with my whole being, and learning to truly listen to the

         others and allow myself to be influenced

It is important to balance my selflessness for others and my selfishness for myself or I risk being consumed by the needs of others, and  so I may have only a few ‘need-free’ friends but many acquaintances. 

*Sources: Martin Buber – ‘I and Thou’, Abraham Maslow – ‘Toward a Psychology of Being’,
  Erich Fromm – ‘The Art of Loving’ 

 

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