The Importance Of Self Esteem June 15th,
2009 by Gary Hipworth
The basic motivation of human life is the urge to self-esteem. The
basic questions that a person wants answers for is “What is the meaning of my life?” and “Who am I?” and
“What value does my life have?” and “Where do I rank as a hero?”
These issues are ‘life and death’ ones for
humans because we have exchanged a natural animal sense of our basic worth, for a contrived, symbolic
one.*
The individual’s sense of self and hence his level of self-esteem
depends heavily on the general feedback he receives from others and society and his culture is so constructed
that he is provided with many opportunities to earn his self-esteem and build his character, and even to
become a hero. Our work place is where we spend the most of our adult lives and so we need to feel valued at
work.
We are constantly interested in feedback and
encouragement and praise from others in order to establish who we are and to feel good about ourselves because we
don’t belong to ourselves, but we are social beings and we need to be treated as a person of primary value in a
world of meaningful action.
Are you consciously aware of the ways that you earn your
self-esteem, or is it generally unconscious?
There are four sources of
self-esteem:
1.
Achievement of goals that we have determined ourselves
2.
Power and influence in the world
3.
Being accepted and cared about by people who we in turn value and care about
4.
Behaving in accordance with our important personal values
As you can see, the world is rich in possibilities for gaining
more self-esteem. But sometimes bad experiences negatively affect our self-esteem, and we can feel depressed, hurt
or angry with the world. If you let your past dictate your level of self-esteem you could be in big trouble. In
this situation, learning to determine your own future irrespective of your past or present circumstances is the
best way forward. The best way to do this is to learn the skills of creating what you really want and the
courageous person moves out of his comfort zone, which includes his normal ways of achieving his self-esteem into
the unknown. The person's focus is now on his creation, not himself, and so his level of self-esteem becomes
secondary to making a positive difference in the world.
*“The proper word or phrase, properly delivered, is the highest
attainment of human interpersonal power.” Ernest Becker
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