Now if words only have value for descriptive purposes but can never in themselves contain the Truth that one may wish to convey, words or knowledge cannot give me the answer to my true identity.

What other tools does Life have then?

In my search I came across the process of self-observation. It is also called Two-way Looking (Douglas Harding) or Choiceless Awareness (J. Krishnamurti), or in Buddhism, Mindfulness or Self-remembering (Gurdjieff).  

Self-observation is actually very simple. You watch yourself. You watch everything going on around you and inside you as if you were a detached observer. In this state, you are not personalising what is going on. Just look without the controller or judge in you wanting to rush in and fix things.

The beauty of self-observation is that it is nature’s tool, not man’s. It has existed as a survival faculty in the animal world for millions of years and is outside man’s conditioned mind. It is the perfect tool for finding out who I really am.

And the fantastic news is that anyone can do it, at any moment.

I experienced a stopping of the thought process. (Language is a problem when trying to explain this stopping of thought as "I" did not experience it. There was only experiencing without the experiencer).

When thinking stopped, there was no thinker! What then existed was silence, which was creation and boundless energy and serenity. 

The mystery of who I am was solved!

My ego or sense of self is an illusion. I see this as a fact as I see that glass of water on the table. What am I then, when the mind is quiet? I am nothing. No thing, no permanent entity of any kind. I am an unknowable energy process and this is the ultimate source of my being as it is also the ultimate source of your being and every other living creature. In this state we are truly equal beings. It is only the thought process that gives us the illusion that we are separate, individual beings.
 

When my brain saw through the illusion of the ego by scientific, direct self-observation, my consciousness changed. It went quiet.

I had been using everyone and everything to build and reinforce through memory, a false existence. This illusionary existence requires self-centredness, beliefs, meaning, purpose, values, dramas, daily trivia, gossip, suffering, numerous fears, enemies, repeated self-talk, constant thinking and personal stories to keep it 'alive'.

I knew at this moment that I could never be content ever again with my heavily conditioned and false beliefs about life.

I also understood that death was nothing to fear because there is nothing spiritual or physical that lives on. The illusion of me being a permanent entity had died already, or better still, has dissolved into nothingness. 

In other words, if I can't find anything permanent or fixed about me right at this moment of looking, then how can there be anyone that lives on after I have died? It therefore must only be a belief that would 'like' to live on and that is just wishful thinking albeit an understandable one for a creature that has been placed in an impossible evolutionary situation.

This dominant egocentric way of life that we call 'human nature' can only continue to exist if masses of people believe in their own egos as being real. When a critical mass of people stop believing in egos or individual selves, then human relationships and human consciousness will undergo a radical change the like we have never experienced before.

Will this ever happen? Who knows? However, when more people understand the massive benefits in 'killing off their egos' such as eliminating fear of death and psychological suffering and being one with nature, and quite possibly the survival of the human race, there may well be a rush of humanity to the exit doors of this dream world.

Although there is one small downside. You will have to let go of your most precious possession...you!

Or to put it more precisely, your mistaken, unconsciously acquired beliefs about who you are that are causing you so much suffering and pain and keeping the medical profession and the drug companies and the fatty food industries and the media circus in business and the whole rat race spiralling out of control.  

However, you are responsible for your life. I can only be responsible for my life, although we influence each other in strange and mysterious ways. 

I am now much better at dealing with the facts of life, moment to moment and in context with the whole situation that I am involved with, the interrelationships and connections. Thought is only used to create new things or solve problems, but it is no longer in the driver's seat.

Well that sounds like I'm perfect. Far from it. I've got so much idiot conditioning in me that I have to watch it like a hawk and sometimes I say something or do something that is stupid and silly and crass.

The beauty of my life today though is I know I have the next moment and this is always new and fresh. My eternal challenge is to stay awake sufficiently to also be new and fresh and creative with my actions as well.
    
I love nature. She is my teacher and my guru. I get in step with her and have no wish to control her or work out her motivations as she is much too smart for this little vegemite.

I chose to live because life has intrinsic meaning for its own sake, not because I need human meaning to make sense of life, which is absolutely incomprehensible.

Nature’s Truth set me free. All I had to do was stop believing in fairy tales and accept the facts of self-observation.

The human condition is so weird and bizarre and ridiculously impossible. Man has invented ideas about life to protect him from the facts of his own mortality but these ideas cause him to suffer and be anxious for the whole of his life. We then invent mental illness diagnostic labels and medications to help anxious, frightened, nervous, or psychotic people cope with their inner demons that are caused by man.

We are mortal creatures. When we stop denying our mortality and see the futility of having beliefs about anything, we will be at peace.

I know because I have experienced this inner peace for about 15 years now.

Who am I?

I don’t have the foggiest clue.

That's why I am at peace.

Evolution's winners in the game of life tend to be those individuals/ species that adapt the best to change and the world is experiencing rapid change right at this time due in the main to our own past successes.

An individual that is at peace, cooperative, generous, creative and international in their world view would be very adaptive in these chaotic times.

This is exactly the kind of human we need.

But he or she is a threat to the status quo and our deep desire for no change.

Who will survive to inherit the future?

Nature will.

End of story.